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dwn_in_brktown [userpic]

Does anybody realize even I don't buy my own disguise

December 26th, 2006 (11:23 am)
current location: basement
current song: Alexz Johnson - Who Am I Fooling?

Welp Christmas is FINALLY over. FINALLY. I honestly couldn't be more happy. The holidays always seem to bring me down a little. Maybe its because I've always hated them? Maybe it's because I'm usually "alone" during them with no one real special to share them with.

But now that Christmas is over there's New Years to deal with. What the hell am I going to do on New Years? I have no plans. No one to hang out with... not a single plan. I mean I have this idea of what I'd like to do... but that requires the second party to go along with it. Except this second party has been extremely hard to get a hold of. That and they sometimes seem to be disinterested in moi. The sucky thing is... my plan is fucking AWESOME and I can bet any money when I mention this plan to said second party it'll get shot down by some "oh I already have plans" or "yeah but I'm busy with blah blah blah". I mean how is this second party going to tell me how much they want to get erm phsyical with me yet when the opportunity presents itself excuses are made or something equally dumb comes up. Like they want me to drive out there at 3 in the morning just to drive back home at 7am. Hi no thank you.

Anyway so I was reading cosmo the other day, which is such a bad idea for me because all it does is give me ideas. And I actually got a few from it for my next encounter with Ryne. Whenever that will be. Who the fuck knows. COUGHthatentireparagraphaboveisabouthimCOUGH. I hope its soon because I'm literally driving myself crazy knowing that he wants to have sex again but we haven't. I mean come on already dood it's almost been a month and I seriously feel like I'm gunna die soon if I don't have sex with him again. I know I know I sound pathetic and whorish but geezus he was quite good and I really NEED that again. Yes NEED goddamit. I need it! I NEED IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW! HAHA. I hope he reads this and is like "geezus christ".

Oh in other news, I went up to Milwaukee last friday and saw Joe. YES THAT JOE. HAHA. Nothing happened though. I wouldn't let it happen. Not that I couldn't let things happen... I just don't know where things stand with Ryne. If it's ok for me to let things happen. Which is silly to even have to worry about because like I said before... Ryne and I aren't together, but I don't know if I did let something happen if that would effect our current situation. So I just didn't let things happen with Joe. I went up there, watched TV with him, then fell asleep on his couch. Doesn't that sound exciting? I know it does.

Welp thats my ranting for today. Hope everyone had a good holiday. I did I guess.